I just scrolled down the comment box and realized this article was published way back in 2013. I don't know how but that completely escaped my eye earlier. However I've honestly come to admire you now. Most of the blogposts I've come across have replies from the writer to just the first couple of comments but you had replied to each and every one of them and dare I say with a simple thank you. I'm gonna do the same for my blog too. Well whenever I muster up the courage to finally post something. But I do hope you would find the time to reply to my comment just like you did to all the others.
Ian Anderson GrayAuthor
I hadn't realised my article was that old! I do try and build communities around my articles. That is where the conversations and the magic happens! I wish you all the best with your blog - let me know how you get on.
Sir, i absolutely loved your article and am currently heeding your own advice. However i ended up here looking for something entirely different. I wonder if you could help me with that please. Most (or at least Many) of us thank people for following us on social media and almost 90% of the times get ignored but when a total stranger does reply to the thank you message, it obviously displays some interest to talk more or could simply mean courtesy. Whatever the case though, how to keep the conversation going after the initial thankyou/welcomes are over?
Ian Anderson GrayAuthor
Thanks, Addie. Glad you found my article helpful. You make a good point about how to move the conversation past the initial thank you exchange. More often than that, the conversation ends there and I wonder how much value there is in this. However, you can add human by just showing interest in the other person and having a conversation. My "thank you replacement" list is a collection of ideas to extend the humble thank you.
The problem that some of us face is that thanking and replying to thank yous becomes harder and harder the more your Twitter account grows. I find it really hard to thank everyone who retweets, follows and thanks me. It could almost be a full time job! But there are some people and business accounts that are far more popular than mine. I try and reply as quickly and as often as I can, to be helpful and valuable as possible, but I suppose I don't "just" say thank you much anymore.
I would say "thanks", but given the context...:) no, I really appreciate your replacement list. I'm new to Twitter and I've been mystified by the streams of "thank you's". On a related note regarding Twitter etiquette, I'd love to hear your take on the follow back/don't follow back issue?
Ian Anderson GrayAuthor
Thanks, Christine! ;-) Actually, that's the point, I think it's great to express gratitude, it's just that I am saying it is also good to add more value than the simple thanks- and you did that! As for the follow back/not follow back thing, I don't advocate a blanket follow back rule. Whilst I do follow a lot of people, I only want to follow back relevant people and not spammy or low value accounts. You the know the kind of Twitter accounts that are either spammy, post offensive stuff or are just interested in you as a statistic. I answered this question more fully in question #3 of my article 6 Answers to Common Social Media Questions. Let me know what you think! Ian
I totally agree with you! Great conversing with intelligence. Social networking and I don't see eye to eye. I think Google has become my best friend thou. Amazingly I am the one always complaining about facebook and blackberry..they always seem to be confusing unlike Google.. Says it as it is! Also doing other networks job!
Well this is so unlike me saying thank you! Google has been tremendously of super help and I believe that it does not cost anything to say "thank you".. Especially when I had to work day and night on my device getting rid of all the hackers and trying to locate GOOGLE! Was so relieved when I did thou!
Also all your motivational healing sites helped me become the positive person I am now!
TThisIsShe
Life saver. I have been on social media for a while, but I have recently decided to get serious about becoming a vlogger or podcaster. So, I wanted to know how to best build an audience and engage with followers while maintaining some personalization. Your list helped a lot, especially #1 Ask them what they think. I was getting so tired of saying thank you. I am writing notes and putting into practice now. :)
Glad you found it useful. Let me know how you get on. I think social media is like food. You can take the fast food option, but it's not going to be as nutritious and good for you in the long run!
TThisIsShe
That makes sense. I'm having some back and forth already, which has been great.
Love this article! As a Canadian, saying "thank you" is in my DNA, however I have been struggling with how to express gratitude towards a new Twitter connection without it feeling robotic. I also have a hard time when I visit someone's feed and the content/perspective/quality of the tweets gets lost amongst a sea of thank yous. Lately, I have been more passively expressing thanks by engaging on my new follower's feeds, primarily by retweeting or favouriting posts. However your recommended Replacement List has taken things to a whole other level - a wonderful resource that I look forward to putting into practice today!
Great information - I was just about to post a couple of "thank you's" and they didn't feel right. I wanted something more. My Google search turned up your blog - THANK YOU! ;-)
Thanks, Erika! I am glad my article helped you! It is definitely encouraging to know others think the same! Ian
SUSeda Ucak
Very useful article. A good way to say thank you is also to send a meaningful picture. Please ensure you have the rights on the photo you post, or do mention the photographer.
Great idea, Seda! Posting images as replies on Twitter works really well and can get a lot of engagement and spark a conversation. Ian
CACJ Andrew
Ian. Great post. Great blog. Plenty of food for thought here. I actually found this post, because I just hit the 100 twitter follower milestone that I set myself, and wondered about all the "thank yous". Your post has put things in perspective, thanks (..oops!).
Btw: I quite like the way your blog is laid out; the fonts, the sections; all make for easy reading. I say this because this post is more or less "long-form" in length, yet it doesn't feel that way. Mostly because the writing is really good, but also because of the way that the content is formatted and presented.
On some other long form posts, one loses the will to read after the first 700 words or so. In the case of this post, I actually looked forward to each section as it came up. Plenty of takeaways for me from this one post, as you can see. Kudos!
Thanks so much! As you know, I am certainly not against saying thank you- far from it. I'm all about adding value. Interesting you say my article didn't feel "long form"- that's good to know. My articles to tend to be detailed, but I do want to catch people's attention.
CACJ Andrew
Absolutely, Ian. I agree. It's more about adding value to the conversation, rather than a simple, grunting "thanks". Although in most situations politeness is simply a case of "treat others as we like to be treated", and it works. The article certainly caught my attention :)
Hi Ian, I've just started really using twitter, I appreciate your insight (and wanted to thank you)....I was just looking into thanking my new followers with an automated response...I am a musician, and I was thinking of sending out a link for a free download for one of my songs to all new followers (which also puts them on my email list)....any thoughts?
Thanks for your comment. I'm all for automation when it comes to scheduling posts, but I am not convinced that automating engagement works. But that is only my experience. If you're happy to try, then try it out. My concern is that unless you craft the tweets well, they do look automated and that can make you look less than genuine. Personally, I'd not recommend sending out an automated mention or direct message to new followers. You could find yourself getting suspended by Twitter if it were to get out of hand, and there has been some research that shows automated direct messages to new followers can increase your unfollow rate. I get so many automated messages each day, some are thanking me for following them, asking me to like their Facebook page or give me a free thing. I would recommend waiting, engage with them first- get to know them a bit better and then offer them your free song. They are more likely to see this as a really generous offer once they know you a little. I know this requires more effort, but I think it will be better for you in the long run. Ian
Thanks Ian! I like to error on the side of caution (especially if I might be considered rude) , so I'm taking your advice. I also find that when you really connect with one fan, that will lead to 5 of their friends becoming fans (and so on!) . Best to build one meaningful relationship at a time as you suggest.
No problem. The thing is, it might work with some people- you just don't know. You're right about really connecting with one fan resulting in more fans. My best advice is finding out who your biggest advocates are. Use a tool like twtrland or Commun.it to help here, or just work at building relationships with your Twitter followers. Use Twitter lists too to build up lists of your fans, influencers and supporters.
Thanks so much, Ishika, that means a lot. What in particular resonated with you? Ian
SSSarah Margaret Smith
Would you say that the idea is to treat followers, fans, customers, etc., more as individuals instead of giving everyone the same standardized reply? It seems to me that the sentiment behind the thank you is fine - showing gratitude when someone follows you is the right thing to do. However, when we just keep sending the same "thanks for following" message to everybody, it starts to look canned and inauthentic. Instead, perhaps we should develop a new habit of "thanking" people in a way that acknowledges their unique interests and shows that we actually want to engage them as a person and not treat them just like another number on our analytics dashboard.
Hi Sarah- what an amazing comment. I totally agree with you. It's all about effectively conveying gratitude in an authentic and non-robotic way. It's a bit mad we have to re-learn being human, but that's what social media can do to you! :-) Ian
Sorry, I seem to have missed your comment. I appreciate people saying thank you too, but in a world where thank you has lots its meaning a little, I think it is important to add more value. Glad you liked my article. Ian
Yes, it has got me thinking! And that's a good thing. The message here is to change things up a little and stop doing the typical thing. Creativity is necessary. Great post by the way
Sorry, I totally missed your comment from 2 months ago! Glad I got you thinking- that was the idea. Yes, I am all about breaking away from the herd and doing something different. Creativity is essential! Ian
JAJAKE AWAKE
What a stupid post. It is always WISE to express gratitude.
Hi Jake, I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you read the full article? The reason I ask is because I agree with you that it's always wise to express gratitude! However, I think we need to say more than the words "thank you"- we need to take up an opportunity, be encouraging, be funny, ask them how they're doing and more. I hope that makes sense! Thanks! Ian
MMichelle
I stumbled upon you by searching for how to say thank you on Twitter. I only said thank you about 5 times and am already getting on my own nerves. I will have to check out that Commun.it.
Thanks, Michelle. Your comment made me laugh! I do know what you mean, but I think it's a case (at least with me) of a loss of meaning when saying just thank you. When I say thank you I want to say more than that. I think @disqus_oYX9SLCVrj:disqus (below) does a good job of that- she doesn't just say thank you- she adds value. I hope you find commun.it helpful! Ian
MMary
So it's okay to not thank someone for following as long as I can be authentic and helpful in some type of reply? If I automate my 'helpful' content reply, it may still come across as unauthentic. Either way, it's all very time consuming. Wouldn't you agree?
Mary, great question and thanks for your comment. In my view, I think it's really important to be authentic when you reply. I suppose you are being authentic in automated replies since presumably you have crafted the automated reply. However I still feel it's less genuine. I also think we need to make a distinction between fully automated replies and semi-automation...
This may sound harsh but in a way I'd prefer not to have a thank you message at all if it's automated. When you talk about automating your helpful reply, what do you mean? There are different levels of automation. I personally think that fully automating thank you messages removes the meaning of the thank you. However, you can semi-automate it, but copying and pasting your "Thanks for sharing my article" text to all the people you want to thank. That's not full automation- you've selected the people you want and crafted the message you want to send to them. You are being authentic and genuine.
However, you could argue that sending so many "thank you for sharing my article" replies in one go adds to a growing number of similar tweets. Yes these tweets have meaning and are genuine, but could it be that the meaning becomes diluted?
Yes, crafting different messages for each person is time consuming but by adding value you could strike up a new relationship or create new opportunities. Who knows? At the end of the day you need to work out a strategy that works for you and your business. Thanks again. Ian
Great post. Use my method of scheduling your "thank you tweets" with buffer. Also delete your tweets so they dont mess up your timeline. Also use gifs to break the mundane or the normal tweet.See How to Use Animated GIFs to Improve Your Twitter Marketing Results… http://growthadvisor.co/how-to-use-animated-gifs-to-improve-your-twitter-marketing-results/
Thanks, very interesting. Generally I'm not a fan of automating thank you tweets. My DM inbox is full of them and I don't think they help with engagement. Most automated thank you tweets look automated and that isn't good. However, I can see how using animated gifs could work really well- particularly since it is something different. In fact I remember receiving just such a thank you tweet a few weeks back and I replied back straight away. So it obviously works! I just hope I don't start receiving dozens of them each day!
Yep i def have the same concerns you do. Its all about balance. What is new will get old and marketing tactics are constantly changing. It's Up to marketing scientists like ourselves to continually push the limits and run experiments to constantly educate and inform.
I'd read Mark's post some time back and I agree with John Paul actually. The people that I've built a relationship with and know me for the most part know that I REALLY do appreciate that they shared my content. I've always been polite in that way, it's who I am so to stop saying thank you just doesn't seem right. I truly am grateful to them and they know it.
Now I interact with them anyway and I share positive quotes as well. I can see what Mark is saying that it can get lost in the crowd because there are so many people on Twitter and a good bit of them aren't really genuine. But if you're working toward building relationships with people then this is how this can come in very handy.
For now I'm going to keep it up but I never know what six months from now will bring. I think we each have to do what's best for us and what works for us. Right now saying thank you still is.
Hi Adrienne, now it's me that has taken so long! Need to get more organised! I love discussions like these. I find on social media we're all very eager to agree with each other, but actually real value comes from stopping and listening to each other and doing a lot of thinking. That was one of the reasons why I wrote the post.
I think it is incredibly important to be well mannered and polite, and I'm always trying to do that. I am always very appreciative of the times when people share my content. However it becomes quite a task thanking every single person who shares my content on an individual basis, and then it gets easy to cut corners. I used to reply individually by pasting in multiple "Thanks so much for sharing my content". Although I was genuinely thankful from them sharing the content, I felt bad about having to bulk "thank" in this way.
I don't think we're actually disagreeing with each other. You said that you "interact with them anyway and I share positive quotes as well"- that's great because you are building relationships- you are sharing things with them!
I feel ashamed to admit this, but I get excited when I see mention notifications in Twitter or Google+, but I get less excited when I see they are similar to the following:
- Thanks for following me, I'm looking forward to reading your tweets! - Thanks for the share! - TY
It's not that I'm not grateful, it's just that on their own these tweets add to the noise and don't really kick start a conversation. I think we'd all be able to build on these relationships if those tweets were modified to...
- Wow, thanks for following me. I see you're a social media consultant too. Do you have a fave social tool at the moment? - I really do appreciate you sharing that. I'd love to know if you agreed with my 2nd point in the article- have you encountered that? - Thanks so much! How's your day going at the moment?
I'm sure you'll agree- these kickstart conversations much more. However it does take a lot more time. I suppose I'm a perfectionist, and I'd much prefer to reply with those kind of tweets than just plain "Thanks" tweets.
Am I making any sense? Dear me, I really have jibbered on this time!
I am glad that I found this article (on the 2nd position in Google search) and found some valuable tips. I am not sure about using Twitter lead generation cards, but I fully agree that automated Thank You replies are not only boring, but look like a spam.
Thanks, Viktor. Twitter Lead Generation Cards aren't going to be for everyone. In all honesty I don't often use them, but they can be a powerful tool in your toolkit!
Llindavandevrede
Just found this post, as you just followed me, and I wanted to thank you. :) Some of us are limited in our ability to scale because of physical limitations, so we do what we can to show appreciation but shy away from platforms that track ALL mentions. It's too overwhelming for tendonitis, sciatic nerve entrapment, etc. I also tend to shy away from people who have thousands of followers. As you pointed out, the very authenticity of social media is lost in that kind of volume. The people who thrive best on social media are those who don't have to use voice recognition software, can be online quite a bit vs. judiciously, with no physical limitations that slow them down. Geek desks, Dragon software, outsourcing go only so far. There's a whole "underground" of people like myself I've discovered.
Thanks so much for your comment. You make such wonderful points there and you've made me think. Firstly I wanted to ask you what you meant by:
so we do what we can to show appreciation but shy away from platforms that track ALL mentions
It's easy to get overwhelmed by mentions in Twitter sometimes and I use my own app Twools to filter out some of the noise and focus on different people. I also use Commun.it as I mentioned above. I love tools that let you get a bit more intimate with your followers and it seems to work well for me despite having a fair few followers.
Interesting that you say you shy away from people who have thousands of followers. I know where you're coming from. Some people with tens of thousands of followers don't interact with their community and it can often seem that they are full of their own self importance. I really hope that isn't the case with me. I follow thousands of followers because I do like getting a broad sweep of interesting content in my home stream. Quite often I'll zoom in to my local and tech lists so I can get more intimate.
You're certainly not alone- thanks for your comment and making me think! :-)
Llindavandevrede
Hi, Ian. You're not like most people who have thousands upon thousands of followers. It's difficult to engage with them. It makes me think of that stat awhile back that one can really one truly engage with about 150 people. :) I've learned, through the physical challenges that ensued after years in high-tech, that I can only jump into social media like a hummingbird and stay a brief while. The more platforms and tools you use, although they are designed to streamline your communication, the more mired someone like me gets. I have permanent tendonitis in both hands, and a rare form of sciatic nerve entrapment (not related to the back) which makes sitting impossible. Plus had major neck surgery last year. The perfect storm of genetic anomalies and choice of profession - i.e., something computer-related. I have since learned that there are lots of people with visible and invisible constraints and disabilities that limit their interaction. One learns quickly where the "electric dog fence" is in terms of how much time to spend with automated tools, platforms, etc. I do what I can, and try to take each day as it comes. I'm sure in a few years there will be more people like myself who have spent their career online and on devices, only to find out the repercussions. Enjoyed this post on the topic of "thank you" and look forward to more.
This is a great article, that I really enjoyed reading. I agree with what you say about the standard show of appreciation, but as you say, many of us are taught to just be polite. I particularly like how you've given us ideas and suggestions on how we can try and stand out amongst all the Twitter noise. I will definitely be putting some of these suggestions into practice, and will share with you how I get on. Much appreciated (and trying really hard not to say TY!). :)
Thanks, Marcia. Please do let us know how you get on. I was always taught to be polite and I passionately believe that we should be polite on social media. However I also believe in being genuine. I think you can do both!
Dear Ian, You sure got me thinking ! I am glad I caught a tweet that made me discover your article. I have to admit that as a Tweeter beginner (should I say "tweeginner" ???), I have been confused to see so many thanks tweets, and even more confused when I got a Thanks DM that made me feel so anonymous (indeed I am...). I assume it was just a shy attempt to create contact, but I couldn't even answer to this message, although my polite education was engaging me to do it. Your article was quite enlightning, and your replacement advice will sure be useful for me. Just to say it differently, and because I'm french : merci !
Hi Charlotte. Thanks for your comment (I do mean that!) I love to get people thinking, so it was a success with you. You say you're a Twitter beginner, but the truth is we're all learning. I started using Twitter back in 2006 when it was in its infancy. I didn't have a clue what it was all about but it was a shiny new toy and I loved playing with it and making mistakes. The same is true today for most of us- we're all still learning and people are actually very forgiving. There can be quite a learning curve when you start using Twitter. There are "mentions", "replies", "RTs", "MTs", "DMs" and so on. You're not alone in getting "thanks DMs". I receive many "thank you for following me" direct messages every day. Unfortunately the vast majority of these are automatic. A lot of people use tools such as SocialOomph which have a service that you can opt in to which sends out an automated message when you follow them. You can opt out of receiving these, but unfortunately there are other services that do the same. The result of this is that Twitter Direct Messages is a bit of a mess. It works ok when you start using Twitter, but if you follow a lot of people you can end up feeling like your drowning in spam! What probably happened in your case was that they followed you, then you followed them and received the automated direct message. They then unfollowed you. You then wouldn't be able to send them a reply. Some Twitter users use the "follower churn" technique to increase the number of followers they have. They follow lots of people each day and then unfollow any who don't follow back.
HEHadass Eviatar
Interesting article! And thanks ;-) to Carol Lynn for bringing it to my attention! Definitely something to think about.
I'll be honest, I almost never say thank you. Most of the people who RT me are from Triberr, in which case I feel it's kinda silly to thank someone for doing what they are supposed to do. Plus? RTs are as automatic and simple as the TY that's expected to follow -- so I feel like a chump putting in more effort than the individual who RT'd me in the first place.
Retweets, in and of themselves, are not necessarily a kindness. Many people put a lot of thought into what they will share with their followers. Which is to say, RTing someone is not just an altruistic act of generosity; it's often done as much {if not more} for the sake of the individual posting the RT as for anyone else {to include the author as well as the Retweeter's followers}. As in, "Look at how cool I am for having read this piece! I share such great stuff! Aren't you glad you follow me? I'm a great Twitter citizen because of all the great links I RT!" Bottom line: RTing material is usually less a compliment to the author and more an indication of status for the Retweeter.
The exception I make in saying TY is to those who write personalized RTs. If someone takes the time to say something along the lines of, "Just read this funny piece by Andi-Roo", I will def say TY -- to the compliment! That's not just an automatic RT, and moreover, that's not just something done to please that person's followers. That is an interactive message inviting future conversation. I can dig that.
HOWEVER! Having said all this, I recognize two factors: (a) I'm a small nobody blogger, so my opinion is somewhat moot, and (b) I'm in the minority on this issue, so I'm likely to be viewed by most people as rude. I'm okay with that. Rudeness lies in the eyes of the beholder; if one thinks that sending out robotic TYs willy-nilly is less rude than my failure to automatically respond in kind, we were never going to see eye-to-eye in the first place. Since, as I stated, I'm a small nobody blogger, it doesn't really matter much how rude I am perceived to be. It's not like I matter in the grand scheme of things, lolz!!! ;p
Thanks! (I do mean that!) The Triberr point is an interesting one. I do love it when people share my content on Triberr. They don't have to share my content, they've usually decided on clicking the article (unless they've got me on auto-share). So thanking them in some way isn't necessarily pointless. However, to semi-automate the thanking by blanket "thanks for sharing" or "thanks for the RT" type of tweets is going to have not so much value... so I definitely agree.
You make a really good point in saying that retweets aren't necessarily acts of kindness. They can be, but sometimes we won't know the reasons behind a retweet. I don't think it matters too much since, at the end of the day, our content is getting shared. Saying thanks, even if the tweet was retweeted for purely selfish reasons, isn't pointless- it might make them want to do it again or look at their actions! You never know!
I love the exception you raise in your 3rd paragraph. I love that type of share/retweet and I wish I got that more!
You might think you are a "small nobody blogger", but I am not sure I agree. It depends on what criteria you are basing that on! I love the fact that everyone can blog, and I actually find many of the "smaller" blogs more interesting. They're the ones where people aren't frightened of writing about what they think. I don't think you're being rude, but I think I'd find it difficult if people thought I was being rude. I have the dreaded disease of wanting to be liked. It's part of my nature (and I guess that's the same for many). In your case- you've thought about it. People may think you are being rude, but I think they'd understand completely after reading what you said.
I believe saying thank you all the time has something to do with the reciprocation principle of influence. I totally agree that there are better ways of showing appreciation or reciprocating. In my post titled "The best way to say thank you on Twitter" http://bestapplications4u.com/the-best-way-to-say-thank-you-on-twitter I encourage sharing other people's content, if they happen to be bloggers, instead of saying thank you.
Thanks, Churchill! You make really interesting points and I love your article. I think that "love languages" comes into this. Saying "thank you" is great, but this won't make the same impact for different people. Some people may see this as hollow and it won't make an impact (even if it is well meant). To make more of an impact, spending "quality time" with them (looking at their blog or chatting with them) may be the right thing to do. Perhaps it is a case of "words of affirmation" in which case say something encouraging or give some feedback. Or it could be "acts of service" - doing something nice for them- perhaps share an article or include them in one of your blog posts. Anyway, thanks for making me think a bit more!
So I started out feeling all guilty about thanking people constantly (only on social media, right?) but then I felt a little better when I realized I DO engage, too. Not always. There is only so much time in a day so there is a balance between the quick thank-yous I shoot off to acknowledge people and let them know that I noticed their kindness, and then there are the how-are-yas and nice-blog-posts and what-did-you-thinks. I do like to go a bit deeper than autopilot but I have to be selective about that or I'll never do anything else! The only thing that makes me feel really guilty is not acknowledging people at all. Your point is well-taken - thanks are nice but giving an extra two minutes of effort sometimes is nicer!
Ha ha, thanks Carol, I wouldn't feel guilty about thanking people. For many of us, wanting to say "thanks" is ingrained in us and we just can't help it. Also, most of us do mean it when we say thanks, even if we automate it. I'm a big tools geek and I love looking at ways to speed up work flow or solve problems. Part of the responsibility that comes with using automation techniques is knowing when to use them. For me (perhaps because one of my primary "love languages" is words of affirmation) it means a lot when someone takes the time to say something encouraging. Is a "thanks for sharing" tweet an example of that? Perhaps, but I do think its lost part of its value. If we can add more to the "thanks" we can potentially create other opportunities to engage with people. As you say, we all have limited time, so it is difficult to acknowledge everyone- but I hope I gave examples of ways you can do that fairly quickly each day. You raise an interesting thought about "guilt" on social media. Feeling guilty for not responding. I feel the same. But, why do we feel that? I think that was what Mark Schaefer was talking about in his article. At the end of the day you have to make judgement calls. You may not be able to reply to everyone, but I'd recommend trying to engage a bit more with your core community each day. I hope that makes sense- I've not quite woken up this morning and this has been a bit of a "brain dump". Anyway, thanks for your comment- I do appreciate it! :-)
Love, love, love this! I totally agree saying thank you is pretty empty but I still do it. And you're absolutely right when you say I do it because I don't know how else to engage. I'm sharing this one everywhere and taking your advice. Thanks so much, Ian (and I really mean that).
Thanks, Shelley- that means a lot. As you'll know from what I've written, I am not saying that we shouldn't say "thank you", but on its own its lost its impact. We may well mean it from the heart, but if we add extra value and back it up with a few other words I think we and the recipient will gain a lot more. It could be a great opportunity to engage with someone new. We won't always be able to do this, but I hope that I have encouraged people to think a little more about how they thank people. :-)
AFAshley Faulkes
Hey Ian
I also find myself doing this, becauseI think you should at least acknowledge the people, but I also try to do a little of what you say. I saw Daniel Sharkov do it reasonably well too. Ask a question about the article. And I have found it works quite well, and perhaps gets them to then read it! The problem is most of my audience is online when I am not, so the questions are like voice mails (as one of my followers once said).
But I really do need to spend some time engaging more, as I think it really helps. You get a proper fan instead of just a follower. Someone who knows you.
Thanks for bringing this into to the light - many are probably thinking it but not saying it ashley
Thanks, Ashley! :-) Acknowledging people who have shared your content is great, but the point of the article was to get me and the readers to think about why we do that a little more deeply. It's good to be polite (at least I think so), but on the social web there is so much noise and simple "thanks" can get lost in the clutter and it is worth saying that it has lots its impact. You might well be saying "thanks" to someone, but you'll have more impact when you say something else about them or start a conversation going.
You make a great point about time differences. I'm probably in a similar situation to you (I don't think our time zones are that different), but I think people understand when you don't reply straight away. That's the way I see it anyway!
Anyway, I really appreciate your thoughts. Great that we're talking about this stuff! Ian
Great post, Ian - found you thanks to Ashley (that's why I'm using his comment as a starting point - to say thanks to him, too! ;)
I have always advised clients to incorporate in their SMM strategies, especially on twitter, a more engaging approach. To forget about the thank you notes and spice them up with questions, jokes, etc. The same is valid for when YOU are the one doing the resharing - don't just hit the RT button, add something from you. Here's a post I have written last year on the topic: http://www.dianamarinova.com/social-media-interactions-bring-conversation-next-level/ - hope you like it and find it useful (do tell me in the comments, please)
But I have to say - I am more radical than you in terms of plain 'thank you' notes. I either say thank you and try to bring the conversation to the next level, or I thank in bulk when time permits. I never send several thank you notes in a row - it is so off putting...
It has happened to me that I find an interesting blog, I share a tweet with custom update (not just a RT with their title) and all I get in return is 'thank you'. When this happens 2-3 times, I just cross this person from my list of people of interest. I continue reading their blog whenever interesting but I don't try to network with them any more.
My logic is - if you are busy, don't reply individually to me, I'll understand; I am busy too. But if you do reply individually, make it count or you risk losing that potential connection altogether.
Thank you notes and too much noise is what I dislike the most about twitter and why I don't grow my personal network there :)
Boy, this turned out to be a long comment - hope it gives some food for thought. Thanks again for the great post - more people should blog about this so we finally change people's mentality about it...
Diana, thanks so much for you comment (and I mean that!). I've been meaning to respond to your comment all week, but it's been a mad one- so apologies!
I love your article, and it is very encouraging to see that other people have been thinking the same as me. So often we get behind a screen and forget how real humans interact and engage.
I didn't think I was as radical as you in what you said above, but actually thinking about I probably am the same. When people just reply with a one word reply "thanks" or even two words- "Thank You" it just seems like the end of a conversation- if you can even call it that. It is a difficult one, because it almost sounds rude to question this.
I love your logic-
"if you are busy, don't reply individually to me, I'll understand; I am busy too. But if you do reply individually, make it count or you risk losing that potential connection altogether."
I might have to quote you on that.
Anyway, thanks for your comment. I'm going to have to bookmark it for later, because it made me think! Best wishes, Ian
No worries, Ian - you were meaning to reply to me for that one week, and i've been meaning to reply to you the last 20 days. Ha - as i said, if you are busy, i'll understand - we all are - hahaha
You can quote me wherever you want - if 'radical thoughts' and posts like yours and mine will help people be better and make more of their networking efforts, quoting is the least we can do :D
Ian, I've stopped saying thank you. It simply became too hollow and noisy. Now I try to respond individually to people that add a real comment when they share my content, who ask a question, or as a way to restart a conversation with someone I haven't talked to in a bit.
One of the biggest noise contributors is public thanks. A thanks should be to an individual as a reply, not as a broadcast tweet that screams "look who is sharing my content!"
Eric, that's great. Glad I wasn't alone in this one. As you'll know, I am not saying that people should stop saying "thank you". However I was suggesting that if people say a little more than just a naked "thank you" they might add more value and take up the opportunity of building relationships. The phrase social media does have the word "social" in it after all! Thanks! :-)
Ian great post and I am off to check out Mark's article now Thank you... I'm joking ;)
Everything you wrote I truly agree with and I find myself saying thank you like a broken record, even though I do mean it "Thank you" has lost its impact. Typically when someone follows me I will go look at their stream, pop over to their site and try finding something my followers may find of interest... I do say thank you and I am going to try and rework that to something better soon.
Thanks, Ed! Let me know what you think of Mark's article and also how you get on with your reworking. I'd love to know how you get on. I think you'll find you gain a lot more opportunities and build up more of your relationships on the social web.
Interesting. The platitudinous "thank you" ranks up there with the practice of solely favoriting of tweets with personal mentions. (i.e. Your tweet, retweeted becomes your favorite. How self-aggrandizing. )
I couldn't agree more! I've always found it odd when people retweet a simple "thank you" mention. Perhaps someone should write an article on Retweeting Etiquette? Or should that be Retweetiquette?!
Or what about when people favorite a tweet that is just a long list of handles preceded by "#FF"? Has the term, "Tweetiquette" died out? Only about 2,100 hits on Google. Perhaps compliance with Retweeting Etiquette depends upon the identity of the authority is that lays down the law and whether others feel they are obligated citizens.
Nice post Ian.. I have Thanked people for 4 years now and can honestly say it is in the top 3 reasons for my success on social media. For me, I do all the things you mentioned and I still Thank people.
For me, I can't retweet or share every persons stuff that shares my stuff, so the least I can do is thank them.
A simple TY has power, it is also a benefit to that person since it gets them in front of my followers and usually starts a conversation. a Win-Win for me and them.
But I have also seen more of what Mark was saying, it gets busy, but I think if the TY comes from the right place"real gratitude" then you can't dismiss the TY.
Will I Thank people forever, probably not, the busier I get the less I will do and at some point I may stop all together, but no because I don't see value in it, but because I'm just to busy to keep it up.
At the end of the day we all have to do what feels right to US.. no matter what people like Mark says or I say.
I really appreciate your comment. This article was hard to write because I do love saying "thank you". However I am not saying (despite the controversial title) that it is wrong to say "thank you" and to stop altogether!
I'm not surprised you'd put thanking people as one of your top 3 reasons for being successful. Thanking is part of social interaction, and it's definitely important. So many businesses and brands end up being a one-way communication machine and that's bad.
I definitely think that 2 way communication and engagement is key.
I'm not saying that a simple "thank you" reply is a bad idea, it's just that on its own it has less value than a reply when you are asking a question, or giving some feedback. That's not to say you shouldn't just reply with a simple "thank you"- I'll continue to do that. However the point of the article was to make people think and not just go into autopilot mode! The thing is- I've been there! I've gone down my list of mentions and shares and gone "thanks for sharing! :-)" to all of them. That's fine, but it would be more meaningful if I had engaged in a conversation with some of these people.
Words change their meaning over time. The word "awesome" used to mean "causing feelings of fear and wonder", these days it just means "impressive" or "cool". I fear that "thanks" has become less powerful a word too.
I hope that makes sense. At the end of the day people should do what feels right and natural for them. Social media is about real people and real relationships. If I've just got people to think more about that then I think this article has been a success.
Ian Anderson Gray
I just scrolled down the comment box and realized this article was published way back in 2013. I don't know how but that completely escaped my eye earlier. However I've honestly come to admire you now. Most of the blogposts I've come across have replies from the writer to just the first couple of comments but you had replied to each and every one of them and dare I say with a simple thank you. I'm gonna do the same for my blog too. Well whenever I muster up the courage to finally post something.
But I do hope you would find the time to reply to my comment just like you did to all the others.
I hadn't realised my article was that old! I do try and build communities around my articles. That is where the conversations and the magic happens!
I wish you all the best with your blog - let me know how you get on.
Sir, i absolutely loved your article and am currently heeding your own advice. However i ended up here looking for something entirely different. I wonder if you could help me with that please.
Most (or at least Many) of us thank people for following us on social media and almost 90% of the times get ignored but when a total stranger does reply to the thank you message, it obviously displays some interest to talk more or could simply mean courtesy. Whatever the case though, how to keep the conversation going after the initial thankyou/welcomes are over?
Thanks, Addie. Glad you found my article helpful. You make a good point about how to move the conversation past the initial thank you exchange.
More often than that, the conversation ends there and I wonder how much value there is in this. However, you can add human by just showing interest in the other person and having a conversation. My "thank you replacement"
list is a collection of ideas to extend the humble thank you.
The problem that some of us face is that thanking and replying to thank yous becomes harder and harder the more your Twitter account grows. I find it really hard to thank everyone who retweets, follows and thanks me. It could almost be a full time job! But there are some people and business accounts that are far more popular than mine. I try and reply as quickly and as often as I can, to be helpful and valuable as possible, but I suppose I don't "just" say thank you much anymore.
I would say "thanks", but given the context...:) no, I really appreciate your replacement list. I'm new to Twitter and I've been mystified by the streams of "thank you's". On a related note regarding Twitter etiquette, I'd love to hear your take on the follow back/don't follow back issue?
Thanks, Christine! ;-) Actually, that's the point, I think it's great to express gratitude, it's just that I am saying it is also good to add more value than the simple thanks- and you did that! As for the follow back/not follow back thing, I don't advocate a blanket follow back rule. Whilst I do follow a lot of people, I only want to follow back relevant people and not spammy or low value accounts. You the know the kind of Twitter accounts that are either spammy, post offensive stuff or are just interested in you as a statistic. I answered this question more fully in question #3 of my article 6 Answers to Common Social Media Questions. Let me know what you think!
Ian
I totally agree with you! Great conversing with intelligence. Social networking and I don't see eye to eye. I think Google has become my best friend thou. Amazingly I am the one always complaining about facebook and blackberry..they always seem to be confusing unlike Google.. Says it as it is! Also doing other networks job!
Well this is so unlike me saying thank you! Google has been tremendously of super help and I believe that it does not cost anything to say "thank you".. Especially when I had to work day and night on my device getting rid of all the hackers and trying to locate GOOGLE! Was so relieved when I did thou!
Also all your motivational healing sites helped me become the positive person I am now!
Life saver. I have been on social media for a while, but I have recently decided to get serious about becoming a vlogger or podcaster. So, I wanted to know how to best build an audience and engage with followers while maintaining some personalization. Your list helped a lot, especially #1 Ask them what they think. I was getting so tired of saying thank you. I am writing notes and putting into practice now. :)
Glad you found it useful. Let me know how you get on. I think social media is like food. You can take the fast food option, but it's not going to be as nutritious and good for you in the long run!
That makes sense. I'm having some back and forth already, which has been great.
Love this article! As a Canadian, saying "thank you" is in my DNA, however I have been struggling with how to express gratitude towards a new Twitter connection without it feeling robotic. I also have a hard time when I visit someone's feed and the content/perspective/quality of the tweets gets lost amongst a sea of thank yous. Lately, I have been more passively expressing thanks by engaging on my new follower's feeds, primarily by retweeting or favouriting posts. However your recommended Replacement List has taken things to a whole other level - a wonderful resource that I look forward to putting into practice today!
Great information - I was just about to post a couple of "thank you's" and they didn't feel right. I wanted something more. My Google search turned up your blog - THANK YOU! ;-)
Thanks, Erika! I am glad my article helped you! It is definitely encouraging to know others think the same!
Ian
Very useful article. A good way to say thank you is also to send a meaningful picture. Please ensure you have the rights on the photo you post, or do mention the photographer.
Great idea, Seda! Posting images as replies on Twitter works really well and can get a lot of engagement and spark a conversation. Ian
Ian. Great post. Great blog. Plenty of food for thought here. I actually found this post, because I just hit the 100 twitter follower milestone that I set myself, and wondered about all the "thank yous". Your post has put things in perspective, thanks (..oops!).
Btw: I quite like the way your blog is laid out; the fonts, the sections; all make for easy reading. I say this because this post is more or less "long-form" in length, yet it doesn't feel that way. Mostly because the writing is really good, but also because of the way that the content is formatted and presented.
On some other long form posts, one loses the will to read after the first 700 words or so. In the case of this post, I actually looked forward to each section as it came up. Plenty of takeaways for me from this one post, as you can see. Kudos!
Thanks so much! As you know, I am certainly not against saying thank you- far from it. I'm all about adding value.
Interesting you say my article didn't feel "long form"- that's good to know. My articles to tend to be detailed, but I do want to catch people's attention.
Absolutely, Ian. I agree. It's more about adding value to the conversation, rather than a simple, grunting "thanks". Although in most situations politeness is simply a case of "treat others as we like to be treated", and it works. The article certainly caught my attention :)
Hi Ian, I've just started really using twitter, I appreciate your insight (and wanted to thank you)....I was just looking into thanking my new followers with an automated response...I am a musician, and I was thinking of sending out a link for a free download for one of my songs to all new followers (which also puts them on my email list)....any thoughts?
Thanks for your comment. I'm all for automation when it comes to scheduling posts, but I am not convinced that automating engagement works. But that is only my experience. If you're happy to try, then try it out. My concern is that unless you craft the tweets well, they do look automated and that can make you look less than genuine. Personally, I'd not recommend sending out an automated mention or direct message to new followers. You could find yourself getting suspended by Twitter if it were to get out of hand, and there has been some research that shows automated direct messages to new followers can increase your unfollow rate. I get so many automated messages each day, some are thanking me for following them, asking me to like their Facebook page or give me a free thing. I would recommend waiting, engage with them first- get to know them a bit better and then offer them your free song. They are more likely to see this as a really generous offer once they know you a little. I know this requires more effort, but I think it will be better for you in the long run.
Ian
Thanks Ian! I like to error on the side of caution (especially if I might be considered rude) , so I'm taking your advice. I also find that when you really connect with one fan, that will lead to 5 of their friends becoming fans (and so on!) . Best to build one meaningful relationship at a time as you suggest.
No problem. The thing is, it might work with some people- you just don't know. You're right about really connecting with one fan resulting in more fans. My best advice is finding out who your biggest advocates are. Use a tool like twtrland or Commun.it to help here, or just work at building relationships with your Twitter followers. Use Twitter lists too to build up lists of your fans, influencers and supporters.
Thank you
Thank you too! ;-) Hope you found the article interesting and helpful!
I found this Article on 1st position in Google Search. Very Meaningful :) Loved it
Thanks so much, Ishika, that means a lot. What in particular resonated with you? Ian
Would you say that the idea is to treat followers, fans, customers, etc., more as individuals instead of giving everyone the same standardized reply? It seems to me that the sentiment behind the thank you is fine - showing gratitude when someone follows you is the right thing to do. However, when we just keep sending the same "thanks for following" message to everybody, it starts to look canned and inauthentic. Instead, perhaps we should develop a new habit of "thanking" people in a way that acknowledges their unique interests and shows that we actually want to engage them as a person and not treat them just like another number on our analytics dashboard.
Hi Sarah- what an amazing comment. I totally agree with you. It's all about effectively conveying gratitude in an authentic and non-robotic way. It's a bit mad we have to re-learn being human, but that's what social media can do to you! :-) Ian
Thank you for your thoughts on 'Thank you'
A pleasure, Ventain. Did you have any thoughts on this? Are you looking at giving more value than the basic thank you?
Ian
I agree with you. Although I appreciate people saying thank you, adding value is important. Great article!
Sorry, I seem to have missed your comment. I appreciate people saying thank you too, but in a world where thank you has lots its meaning a little, I think it is important to add more value. Glad you liked my article. Ian
Yes, it has got me thinking! And that's a good thing. The message here is to change things up a little and stop doing the typical thing. Creativity is necessary. Great post by the way
Sorry, I totally missed your comment from 2 months ago! Glad I got you thinking- that was the idea. Yes, I am all about breaking away from the herd and doing something different. Creativity is essential! Ian
What a stupid post. It is always WISE to express gratitude.
Hi Jake,
I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you read the full article? The reason I ask is because I agree with you that it's always wise to express gratitude! However, I think we need to say more than the words "thank you"- we need to take up an opportunity, be encouraging, be funny, ask them how they're doing and more. I hope that makes sense!
Thanks! Ian
I stumbled upon you by searching for how to say thank you on Twitter. I only said thank you about 5 times and am already getting on my own nerves. I will have to check out that Commun.it.
Thanks, Michelle. Your comment made me laugh! I do know what you mean, but I think it's a case (at least with me) of a loss of meaning when saying just thank you. When I say thank you I want to say more than that. I think @disqus_oYX9SLCVrj:disqus (below) does a good job of that- she doesn't just say thank you- she adds value. I hope you find commun.it helpful! Ian
So it's okay to not thank someone for following as long as I can be authentic and helpful in some type of reply? If I automate my 'helpful' content reply, it may still come across as unauthentic. Either way, it's all very time consuming. Wouldn't you agree?
Mary, great question and thanks for your comment. In my view, I think it's really important to be authentic when you reply. I suppose you are being authentic in automated replies since presumably you have crafted the automated reply. However I still feel it's less genuine. I also think we need to make a distinction between fully automated replies and semi-automation...
This may sound harsh but in a way I'd prefer not to have a thank you message at all if it's automated. When you talk about automating your helpful reply, what do you mean? There are different levels of automation. I personally think that fully automating thank you messages removes the meaning of the thank you. However, you can semi-automate it, but copying and pasting your "Thanks for sharing my article" text to all the people you want to thank. That's not full automation- you've selected the people you want and crafted the message you want to send to them. You are being authentic and genuine.
However, you could argue that sending so many "thank you for sharing my article" replies in one go adds to a growing number of similar tweets. Yes these tweets have meaning and are genuine, but could it be that the meaning becomes diluted?
Yes, crafting different messages for each person is time consuming but by adding value you could strike up a new relationship or create new opportunities. Who knows? At the end of the day you need to work out a strategy that works for you and your business.
Thanks again. Ian
Great post. Use my method of scheduling your "thank you tweets" with buffer. Also delete your tweets so they dont mess up your timeline. Also use gifs to break the mundane or the normal tweet.See How to Use Animated GIFs to Improve Your Twitter Marketing Results…
http://growthadvisor.co/how-to-use-animated-gifs-to-improve-your-twitter-marketing-results/
Thanks, very interesting. Generally I'm not a fan of automating thank you tweets. My DM inbox is full of them and I don't think they help with engagement. Most automated thank you tweets look automated and that isn't good. However, I can see how using animated gifs could work really well- particularly since it is something different. In fact I remember receiving just such a thank you tweet a few weeks back and I replied back straight away. So it obviously works! I just hope I don't start receiving dozens of them each day!
Yep i def have the same concerns you do. Its all about balance. What is new will get old and marketing tactics are constantly changing. It's Up to marketing scientists like ourselves to continually push the limits and run experiments to constantly educate and inform.
Great blog Ian. Love it.
Thanks for your kind comments. It's definitely down to having balance- and education! :-)
I don't think teaching people how to market is noble either. Being honest is enough.
Hey Ian,
I finally made it by, sorry it took me so long.
I'd read Mark's post some time back and I agree with John Paul actually. The people that I've built a relationship with and know me for the most part know that I REALLY do appreciate that they shared my content. I've always been polite in that way, it's who I am so to stop saying thank you just doesn't seem right. I truly am grateful to them and they know it.
Now I interact with them anyway and I share positive quotes as well. I can see what Mark is saying that it can get lost in the crowd because there are so many people on Twitter and a good bit of them aren't really genuine. But if you're working toward building relationships with people then this is how this can come in very handy.
For now I'm going to keep it up but I never know what six months from now will bring. I think we each have to do what's best for us and what works for us. Right now saying thank you still is.
Great share though, thanks.
~Adrienne
Hi Adrienne, now it's me that has taken so long! Need to get more organised!
I love discussions like these. I find on social media we're all very eager to agree with each other, but actually real value comes from stopping and listening to each other and doing a lot of thinking. That was one of the reasons why I wrote the post.
I think it is incredibly important to be well mannered and polite, and I'm always trying to do that. I am always very appreciative of the times when people share my content. However it becomes quite a task thanking every single person who shares my content on an individual basis, and then it gets easy to cut corners. I used to reply individually by pasting in multiple "Thanks so much for sharing my content". Although I was genuinely thankful from them sharing the content, I felt bad about having to bulk "thank" in this way.
I don't think we're actually disagreeing with each other. You said that you "interact with them anyway and I share positive quotes as well"- that's great because you are building relationships- you are sharing things with them!
I feel ashamed to admit this, but I get excited when I see mention notifications in Twitter or Google+, but I get less excited when I see they are similar to the following:
- Thanks for following me, I'm looking forward to reading your tweets!
- Thanks for the share!
- TY
It's not that I'm not grateful, it's just that on their own these tweets add to the noise and don't really kick start a conversation. I think we'd all be able to build on these relationships if those tweets were modified to...
- Wow, thanks for following me. I see you're a social media consultant too. Do you have a fave social tool at the moment?
- I really do appreciate you sharing that. I'd love to know if you agreed with my 2nd point in the article- have you encountered that?
- Thanks so much! How's your day going at the moment?
I'm sure you'll agree- these kickstart conversations much more. However it does take a lot more time. I suppose I'm a perfectionist, and I'd much prefer to reply with those kind of tweets than just plain "Thanks" tweets.
Am I making any sense? Dear me, I really have jibbered on this time!
Thanks for making me think! :-)
I am glad that I found this article (on the 2nd position in Google search) and found some valuable tips. I am not sure about using Twitter lead generation cards, but I fully agree that automated Thank You replies are not only boring, but look like a spam.
Thanks, Viktor. Twitter Lead Generation Cards aren't going to be for everyone. In all honesty I don't often use them, but they can be a powerful tool in your toolkit!
Just found this post, as you just followed me, and I wanted to thank you. :) Some of us are limited in our ability to scale because of physical limitations, so we do what we can to show appreciation but shy away from platforms that track ALL mentions. It's too overwhelming for tendonitis, sciatic nerve entrapment, etc. I also tend to shy away from people who have thousands of followers. As you pointed out, the very authenticity of social media is lost in that kind of volume. The people who thrive best on social media are those who don't have to use voice recognition software, can be online quite a bit vs. judiciously, with no physical limitations that slow them down. Geek desks, Dragon software, outsourcing go only so far. There's a whole "underground" of people like myself I've discovered.
Thanks so much for your comment. You make such wonderful points there and you've made me think. Firstly I wanted to ask you what you meant by:
It's easy to get overwhelmed by mentions in Twitter sometimes and I use my own app Twools to filter out some of the noise and focus on different people. I also use Commun.it as I mentioned above. I love tools that let you get a bit more intimate with your followers and it seems to work well for me despite having a fair few followers.
Interesting that you say you shy away from people who have thousands of followers. I know where you're coming from. Some people with tens of thousands of followers don't interact with their community and it can often seem that they are full of their own self importance. I really hope that isn't the case with me. I follow thousands of followers because I do like getting a broad sweep of interesting content in my home stream. Quite often I'll zoom in to my local and tech lists so I can get more intimate.
You're certainly not alone- thanks for your comment and making me think! :-)
Hi, Ian. You're not like most people who have thousands upon thousands of followers. It's difficult to engage with them. It makes me think of that stat awhile back that one can really one truly engage with about 150 people. :) I've learned, through the physical challenges that ensued after years in high-tech, that I can only jump into social media like a hummingbird and stay a brief while. The more platforms and tools you use, although they are designed to streamline your communication, the more mired someone like me gets. I have permanent tendonitis in both hands, and a rare form of sciatic nerve entrapment (not related to the back) which makes sitting impossible. Plus had major neck surgery last year. The perfect storm of genetic anomalies and choice of profession - i.e., something computer-related. I have since learned that there are lots of people with visible and invisible constraints and disabilities that limit their interaction. One learns quickly where the "electric dog fence" is in terms of how much time to spend with automated tools, platforms, etc. I do what I can, and try to take each day as it comes. I'm sure in a few years there will be more people like myself who have spent their career online and on devices, only to find out the repercussions. Enjoyed this post on the topic of "thank you" and look forward to more.
Hi Ian
This is a great article, that I really enjoyed reading. I agree with what you say about the standard show of appreciation, but as you say, many of us are taught to just be polite. I particularly like how you've given us ideas and suggestions on how we can try and stand out amongst all the Twitter noise. I will definitely be putting some of these suggestions into practice, and will share with you how I get on. Much appreciated (and trying really hard not to say TY!). :)
Thanks, Marcia. Please do let us know how you get on. I was always taught to be polite and I passionately believe that we should be polite on social media. However I also believe in being genuine. I think you can do both!
Same as you . I like this Article .
Same As You
Dear Ian,
You sure got me thinking ! I am glad I caught a tweet that made me discover your article. I have to admit that as a Tweeter beginner (should I say "tweeginner" ???), I have been confused to see so many thanks tweets, and even more confused when I got a Thanks DM that made me feel so anonymous (indeed I am...). I assume it was just a shy attempt to create contact, but I couldn't even answer to this message, although my polite education was engaging me to do it.
Your article was quite enlightning, and your replacement advice will sure be useful for me. Just to say it differently, and because I'm french : merci !
Hi Charlotte. Thanks for your comment (I do mean that!) I love to get people thinking, so it was a success with you.
You say you're a Twitter beginner, but the truth is we're all learning. I started using Twitter back in 2006 when it was in its infancy. I didn't have a clue what it was all about but it was a shiny new toy and I loved playing with it and making mistakes. The same is true today for most of us- we're all still learning and people are actually very forgiving.
There can be quite a learning curve when you start using Twitter. There are "mentions", "replies", "RTs", "MTs", "DMs" and so on.
You're not alone in getting "thanks DMs". I receive many "thank you for following me" direct messages every day. Unfortunately the vast majority of these are automatic. A lot of people use tools such as SocialOomph which have a service that you can opt in to which sends out an automated message when you follow them. You can opt out of receiving these, but unfortunately there are other services that do the same. The result of this is that Twitter Direct Messages is a bit of a mess. It works ok when you start using Twitter, but if you follow a lot of people you can end up feeling like your drowning in spam!
What probably happened in your case was that they followed you, then you followed them and received the automated direct message. They then unfollowed you. You then wouldn't be able to send them a reply. Some Twitter users use the "follower churn" technique to increase the number of followers they have. They follow lots of people each day and then unfollow any who don't follow back.
Interesting article! And thanks ;-) to Carol Lynn for bringing it to my attention! Definitely something to think about.
Thanks to you (and to Carol Lynn Rivera)! Social Media can consume so much of our attention that it's sometimes easy not to get time to think!
I'll be honest, I almost never say thank you. Most of the people who RT me are from Triberr, in which case I feel it's kinda silly to thank someone for doing what they are supposed to do. Plus? RTs are as automatic and simple as the TY that's expected to follow -- so I feel like a chump putting in more effort than the individual who RT'd me in the first place.
Retweets, in and of themselves, are not necessarily a kindness. Many people put a lot of thought into what they will share with their followers. Which is to say, RTing someone is not just an altruistic act of generosity; it's often done as much {if not more} for the sake of the individual posting the RT as for anyone else {to include the author as well as the Retweeter's followers}. As in, "Look at how cool I am for having read this piece! I share such great stuff! Aren't you glad you follow me? I'm a great Twitter citizen because of all the great links I RT!" Bottom line: RTing material is usually less a compliment to the author and more an indication of status for the Retweeter.
The exception I make in saying TY is to those who write personalized RTs. If someone takes the time to say something along the lines of, "Just read this funny piece by Andi-Roo", I will def say TY -- to the compliment! That's not just an automatic RT, and moreover, that's not just something done to please that person's followers. That is an interactive message inviting future conversation. I can dig that.
HOWEVER! Having said all this, I recognize two factors: (a) I'm a small nobody blogger, so my opinion is somewhat moot, and (b) I'm in the minority on this issue, so I'm likely to be viewed by most people as rude. I'm okay with that. Rudeness lies in the eyes of the beholder; if one thinks that sending out robotic TYs willy-nilly is less rude than my failure to automatically respond in kind, we were never going to see eye-to-eye in the first place. Since, as I stated, I'm a small nobody blogger, it doesn't really matter much how rude I am perceived to be. It's not like I matter in the grand scheme of things, lolz!!! ;p
Thanks! (I do mean that!)
The Triberr point is an interesting one. I do love it when people share my content on Triberr. They don't have to share my content, they've usually decided on clicking the article (unless they've got me on auto-share). So thanking them in some way isn't necessarily pointless. However, to semi-automate the thanking by blanket "thanks for sharing" or "thanks for the RT" type of tweets is going to have not so much value... so I definitely agree.
You make a really good point in saying that retweets aren't necessarily acts of kindness. They can be, but sometimes we won't know the reasons behind a retweet. I don't think it matters too much since, at the end of the day, our content is getting shared. Saying thanks, even if the tweet was retweeted for purely selfish reasons, isn't pointless- it might make them want to do it again or look at their actions! You never know!
I love the exception you raise in your 3rd paragraph. I love that type of share/retweet and I wish I got that more!
You might think you are a "small nobody blogger", but I am not sure I agree. It depends on what criteria you are basing that on! I love the fact that everyone can blog, and I actually find many of the "smaller" blogs more interesting. They're the ones where people aren't frightened of writing about what they think. I don't think you're being rude, but I think I'd find it difficult if people thought I was being rude. I have the dreaded disease of wanting to be liked. It's part of my nature (and I guess that's the same for many). In your case- you've thought about it. People may think you are being rude, but I think they'd understand completely after reading what you said.
Thanks again!
I believe saying thank you all the time has something to do with the reciprocation principle of influence. I totally agree that there are better ways of showing appreciation or reciprocating. In my post titled "The best way to say thank you on Twitter" http://bestapplications4u.com/the-best-way-to-say-thank-you-on-twitter I encourage sharing other people's content, if they happen to be bloggers, instead of saying thank you.
Thanks, Churchill! You make really interesting points and I love your article. I think that "love languages" comes into this. Saying "thank you" is great, but this won't make the same impact for different people. Some people may see this as hollow and it won't make an impact (even if it is well meant). To make more of an impact, spending "quality time" with them (looking at their blog or chatting with them) may be the right thing to do. Perhaps it is a case of "words of affirmation" in which case say something encouraging or give some feedback. Or it could be "acts of service" - doing something nice for them- perhaps share an article or include them in one of your blog posts. Anyway, thanks for making me think a bit more!
THANKS IAN! :)
So I started out feeling all guilty about thanking people constantly (only on social media, right?) but then I felt a little better when I realized I DO engage, too. Not always. There is only so much time in a day so there is a balance between the quick thank-yous I shoot off to acknowledge people and let them know that I noticed their kindness, and then there are the how-are-yas and nice-blog-posts and what-did-you-thinks. I do like to go a bit deeper than autopilot but I have to be selective about that or I'll never do anything else! The only thing that makes me feel really guilty is not acknowledging people at all. Your point is well-taken - thanks are nice but giving an extra two minutes of effort sometimes is nicer!
Ha ha, thanks Carol,
I wouldn't feel guilty about thanking people. For many of us, wanting to say "thanks" is ingrained in us and we just can't help it. Also, most of us do mean it when we say thanks, even if we automate it. I'm a big tools geek and I love looking at ways to speed up work flow or solve problems. Part of the responsibility that comes with using automation techniques is knowing when to use them. For me (perhaps because one of my primary "love languages" is words of affirmation) it means a lot when someone takes the time to say something encouraging. Is a "thanks for sharing" tweet an example of that? Perhaps, but I do think its lost part of its value. If we can add more to the "thanks" we can potentially create other opportunities to engage with people. As you say, we all have limited time, so it is difficult to acknowledge everyone- but I hope I gave examples of ways you can do that fairly quickly each day.
You raise an interesting thought about "guilt" on social media. Feeling guilty for not responding. I feel the same. But, why do we feel that? I think that was what Mark Schaefer was talking about in his article. At the end of the day you have to make judgement calls. You may not be able to reply to everyone, but I'd recommend trying to engage a bit more with your core community each day. I hope that makes sense- I've not quite woken up this morning and this has been a bit of a "brain dump". Anyway, thanks for your comment- I do appreciate it! :-)
Love, love, love this! I totally agree saying thank you is pretty empty but I still do it. And you're absolutely right when you say I do it because I don't know how else to engage. I'm sharing this one everywhere and taking your advice. Thanks so much, Ian (and I really mean that).
Thanks, Shelley- that means a lot. As you'll know from what I've written, I am not saying that we shouldn't say "thank you", but on its own its lost its impact. We may well mean it from the heart, but if we add extra value and back it up with a few other words I think we and the recipient will gain a lot more. It could be a great opportunity to engage with someone new. We won't always be able to do this, but I hope that I have encouraged people to think a little more about how they thank people. :-)
Hey Ian
I also find myself doing this, becauseI think you should at least acknowledge the people, but I also try to do a little of what you say.
I saw Daniel Sharkov do it reasonably well too. Ask a question about the article. And I have found it works quite well, and perhaps gets them to then read it!
The problem is most of my audience is online when I am not, so the questions are like voice mails (as one of my followers once said).
But I really do need to spend some time engaging more, as I think it really helps. You get a proper fan instead of just a follower.
Someone who knows you.
Thanks for bringing this into to the light - many are probably thinking it but not saying it
ashley
Thanks, Ashley! :-)
Acknowledging people who have shared your content is great, but the point of the article was to get me and the readers to think about why we do that a little more deeply. It's good to be polite (at least I think so), but on the social web there is so much noise and simple "thanks" can get lost in the clutter and it is worth saying that it has lots its impact. You might well be saying "thanks" to someone, but you'll have more impact when you say something else about them or start a conversation going.
You make a great point about time differences. I'm probably in a similar situation to you (I don't think our time zones are that different), but I think people understand when you don't reply straight away. That's the way I see it anyway!
Anyway, I really appreciate your thoughts. Great that we're talking about this stuff! Ian
Great post, Ian - found you thanks to Ashley (that's why I'm using his comment as a starting point - to say thanks to him, too! ;)
I have always advised clients to incorporate in their SMM strategies, especially on twitter, a more engaging approach. To forget about the thank you notes and spice them up with questions, jokes, etc. The same is valid for when YOU are the one doing the resharing - don't just hit the RT button, add something from you. Here's a post I have written last year on the topic: http://www.dianamarinova.com/social-media-interactions-bring-conversation-next-level/ - hope you like it and find it useful (do tell me in the comments, please)
But I have to say - I am more radical than you in terms of plain 'thank you' notes. I either say thank you and try to bring the conversation to the next level, or I thank in bulk when time permits. I never send several thank you notes in a row - it is so off putting...
It has happened to me that I find an interesting blog, I share a tweet with custom update (not just a RT with their title) and all I get in return is 'thank you'. When this happens 2-3 times, I just cross this person from my list of people of interest. I continue reading their blog whenever interesting but I don't try to network with them any more.
My logic is - if you are busy, don't reply individually to me, I'll understand; I am busy too. But if you do reply individually, make it count or you risk losing that potential connection altogether.
Thank you notes and too much noise is what I dislike the most about twitter and why I don't grow my personal network there :)
Boy, this turned out to be a long comment - hope it gives some food for thought. Thanks again for the great post - more people should blog about this so we finally change people's mentality about it...
Diana, thanks so much for you comment (and I mean that!). I've been meaning to respond to your comment all week, but it's been a mad one- so apologies!
I love your article, and it is very encouraging to see that other people have been thinking the same as me. So often we get behind a screen and forget how real humans interact and engage.
I didn't think I was as radical as you in what you said above, but actually thinking about I probably am the same. When people just reply with a one word reply "thanks" or even two words- "Thank You" it just seems like the end of a conversation- if you can even call it that. It is a difficult one, because it almost sounds rude to question this.
I love your logic-
I might have to quote you on that.
Anyway, thanks for your comment. I'm going to have to bookmark it for later, because it made me think! Best wishes, Ian
No worries, Ian - you were meaning to reply to me for that one week, and i've been meaning to reply to you the last 20 days. Ha - as i said, if you are busy, i'll understand - we all are - hahaha
You can quote me wherever you want - if 'radical thoughts' and posts like yours and mine will help people be better and make more of their networking efforts, quoting is the least we can do :D
Ian, I've stopped saying thank you. It simply became too hollow and noisy. Now I try to respond individually to people that add a real comment when they share my content, who ask a question, or as a way to restart a conversation with someone I haven't talked to in a bit.
One of the biggest noise contributors is public thanks. A thanks should be to an individual as a reply, not as a broadcast tweet that screams "look who is sharing my content!"
Eric, that's great. Glad I wasn't alone in this one. As you'll know, I am not saying that people should stop saying "thank you". However I was suggesting that if people say a little more than just a naked "thank you" they might add more value and take up the opportunity of building relationships. The phrase social media does have the word "social" in it after all! Thanks! :-)
Ian great post and I am off to check out Mark's article now
Thank you... I'm joking ;)
Everything you wrote I truly agree with and I find myself saying thank you like a broken record, even though I do mean it "Thank you" has lost its impact. Typically when someone follows me I will go look at their stream, pop over to their site and try finding something my followers may find of interest... I do say thank you and I am going to try and rework that to something better soon.
Ed
Thanks, Ed! Let me know what you think of Mark's article and also how you get on with your reworking. I'd love to know how you get on. I think you'll find you gain a lot more opportunities and build up more of your relationships on the social web.
Interesting. The platitudinous "thank you" ranks up there with the practice of solely favoriting of tweets with personal mentions. (i.e. Your tweet, retweeted becomes your favorite. How self-aggrandizing. )
I couldn't agree more! I've always found it odd when people retweet a simple "thank you" mention. Perhaps someone should write an article on Retweeting Etiquette? Or should that be Retweetiquette?!
Or what about when people favorite a tweet that is just a long list of handles preceded by "#FF"? Has the term, "Tweetiquette" died out? Only about 2,100 hits on Google. Perhaps compliance with Retweeting Etiquette depends upon the identity of the authority is that lays down the law and whether others feel they are obligated citizens.
Ha ha, I may have to include this in my forthcoming (ironic) sequel to "20 Steps to becoming a Social Media Guru"!
Nice post Ian.. I have Thanked people for 4 years now and can honestly say it is in the top 3 reasons for my success on social media. For me, I do all the things you mentioned and I still Thank people.
For me, I can't retweet or share every persons stuff that shares my stuff, so the least I can do is thank them.
A simple TY has power, it is also a benefit to that person since it gets them in front of my followers and usually starts a conversation. a Win-Win for me and them.
But I have also seen more of what Mark was saying, it gets busy, but I think if the TY comes from the right place"real gratitude" then you can't dismiss the TY.
Will I Thank people forever, probably not, the busier I get the less I will do and at some point I may stop all together, but no because I don't see value in it, but because I'm just to busy to keep it up.
At the end of the day we all have to do what feels right to US.. no matter what people like Mark says or I say.
I really appreciate your comment. This article was hard to write because I do love saying "thank you". However I am not saying (despite the controversial title) that it is wrong to say "thank you" and to stop altogether!
I'm not surprised you'd put thanking people as one of your top 3 reasons for being successful. Thanking is part of social interaction, and it's definitely important. So many businesses and brands end up being a one-way communication machine and that's bad.
I definitely think that 2 way communication and engagement is key.
I'm not saying that a simple "thank you" reply is a bad idea, it's just that on its own it has less value than a reply when you are asking a question, or giving some feedback. That's not to say you shouldn't just reply with a simple "thank you"- I'll continue to do that. However the point of the article was to make people think and not just go into autopilot mode! The thing is- I've been there! I've gone down my list of mentions and shares and gone "thanks for sharing! :-)" to all of them. That's fine, but it would be more meaningful if I had engaged in a conversation with some of these people.
Words change their meaning over time. The word "awesome" used to mean "causing feelings of fear and wonder", these days it just means "impressive" or "cool". I fear that "thanks" has become less powerful a word too.
I hope that makes sense. At the end of the day people should do what feels right and natural for them. Social media is about real people and real relationships. If I've just got people to think more about that then I think this article has been a success.
Thanks! :-)